STOP WONDERING IF THEY’RE YOUR PERSON
If it’s meant to be, it will happen — on its own, without effort, without worry or wonder, without working that hard.
If you’re guilty of wondering whether you have a future together — after one date or a dozen — here’s the one thing you need to repeat to yourself until it’s automatic: one date at a time. It’s that simple. Easier said than done because you’re looking for love, looking for that long term partner. But all will be revealed. In time. Because you can’t know in advance and you can’t rush it.
Sure, you can think ahead for a minute, lightly assess, visualize, contemplate. But only to the point it’s fun: Overthinking will only get you in trouble. The reasonable exception is when you’ve been dating someone for a while and it seems clear you’re both emotionally invested. At that point it’s a conversation.
Consider…
Love has no time frame.
Love has no formula.
Love has no guarantee.
Love is fragile.
Love depends on when you meet someone.
Love depends on when they meet you.
Love is rare. You know this and you know why.
Love is random. Until it’s not. Then it grows. Naturally.
Love and the long term depend on things completely out of your control, including the facts you’re offered. Are they even facts? Or are they your interpretations or projections? You don’t know. Time knows.
So why worry, why think ahead? Why not enjoy whoever it is you’re dating in that moment, that day or night, and go from there, one date at a time?
Have you ever gone out with someone you weren’t sure about initially, then come to find they were actually quite special, regardless of how long you wound up dating?
Have you ever gone out with someone you were instantly crazy about and they felt the same way, then it imploded just as quickly?
If you’re even moderately experienced at dating, your answer to both questions is yes. A big yes.
So…
Don’t dismiss it.
Don’t force it.
Don’t project.
Don’t overthink.
Don’t be anxious.
Don’t take it for granted.
Don’t pressure yourself or them or the relationship.
Just stop.
Enjoy yourself and the relationship each day.
And if it stops being enjoyable, relatively easy, and true, move on.
Stop wondering if they’re your person until there’s no need to wonder.
All will be revealed.
One date at a time.
